Sky Sports leaves me holding the baby

I used to love nothing better than my Super Lazy Sundays (as Sky Sports should call them) nursing a hangover in a darkened room, the only natural light – and reminder that there was an outside world – coming from the small chink in the venetian blinds while the rest of the room was bathed in the soft green glow from seemingly endless supply of live football on Sky Sports.

A glass bottle of Irn Bru (Scotland’s best hangover cure) and the leftovers from last nights’ pizza or kebab the only sustenance needed to make it through the day, while a mild overdose of paracetemol being just enough to dull the searing pain caused by Andy Gray’s excellent, if excitable, commentary.

Those were the days when I lived a batchelor’s existence. Lived for the weekend’s excesses and used Super Lazy Sunday’s to recharge the batteries ahead of the coming week.

Then I got myself shacked up with the girlfriend. This was no bad thing as it prompted me to live a cleaner life, making sure both the pennies and my liver were looked after much better than they had previously been. Somehow, and everyday I ask myself how, it meant moving in with her and not renewing my Sky Sports subscription.

I still haven’t managed to fathom exactly how it happened, but it did and to be honest it was no great hardship. A plethora of nearby pubs offered shelter, generous libation and access to that green glow every Sunday for my footballing fix.

I now, however, find myself in a dark place without the warming green glow (the hangovers and leftover pizza I can do without) and fatherhood is the reason. Fatherhood itself is not to be feared. It provides its own warming glow for which the TV can provide no substitute (no matter who is playing!).

But in recent months I have found myself missing those Super Lazy Sundays. The combination of Arctic weather and the responsibility of looking after a five-month-old baby every Sunday has seen me trapped in the house, a slave to both the TV and a screaming baby (whoever shouts the loudest usually wins).

As those with kids will testify, the pennies which were once frittered away on niceties such as beer and expensive Sky Sports subscriptions are earmarked for other things such as nappies and baby milk. In addition, the pubs which once provided salvation are now strictly out of bounds – although the wee man’s screams are surely only slightly more shrill than Andy Gray’s commentary?!

Therefore I have had to make do with the best sporting action council TV (terrestrial) can provide. Sadly, snooker, Ski Sunday and even the Six Nations coverage (good though it all is) can’t see the BBC and ITV compete with the big boys nowadays (although the BBC’s coverage of the African Cup of Nations and the recent Australian Tennis Open was excellent.)

This really hit home on Sunday just past when I had the wee man all day (usually it is just the afternoons). I had to be content watching Tiger Woods’ amazing back nine comeback in the Dubai Desert Classic on the live internet scoreboard, try to overcome a noisy baby and crackly reception to catch the Hibs v Rangers match on the radio and keep up to speed on the day’s three Premiership matches via the news ticker on Sky Sports News (available on Freeview and an absolute Godsend!) Later that night I could have treated myself to some Spanish football action had I been a Sky Sports subscriber.

The one top notch sporting event I was able to watch (Ghana v Nigeria) I ended up missing the crucial last 30 mins because the wee man needed his bath.

There is no doubt that Sky Sports and to a certain extent, Setanta, have got me and countless other sports fanatics by the short and curlies. To get your weekly fix you have to pay the going rate.

I’m off to get myself a calculator and pen and paper to work out how I can save myself £35 a month.Surely the wee man doesn’t have to eat eight times every day………………….

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